National Dance Day

National Dance Day is everything and everyday to me. It is also a reminder of what I am trying to regain in my life. It has been almost a year since my accident and most people assume all is back to normal. That is so very far from the truth. But there are angels in my life helping me find some joy in moving my body. I am grateful to the gorgeous classes that I take from Malaya, Terri Best and Denise Leitner. Each gives beautiful technical MUSICAL classes. I am not ready to post video, I rarely did that before, but will share a poem.

I am trying to reinhabit my body
Like going home after college
Nothing quite fits
The jarring of my experience
Has knocked me
Off center
What should feel
Easy
Comfortable
Pushes and stretches
In unfamiliar ways
As if i picked up a jacket
Thinking it mine
But
It is slightly too tight across the back
Too long in the sleeves
Binding in
Unfamiliar places
My soul
Too
Unmoored
Searching for home in
Movement
Music
Like the jacket and the
Twin size bed
Sink into a plié
Breathe in the familiarity
Breath stops when I brush my leg
Expecting perfection
A certitude of skill honed by years of repetition
Blocked
Not by the guards
Sitting in judgment in the audition room
By bone
By muscle
By tendon
Deteriorated
Slowly over the years
Drastically in a moment
The chasm between the
Slow sweet decline
And sudden
Stoppage
Unacceptable.
I walk into a different room
Try a different house
The jacket lying on the bed
Is not my size
Not my color
I put it on anyway
I put on music
A new artist
Try to move
Unfamiliar patterns
I cry
I scream
I try again
I am trying to reinhabit my body
My soul rails against the changes
As
My broken heart
Painfully
Painstakingly
Tries
To
Mend

#dance #dancer #neverstopmoving #recovery #cyclist #choreographer #writer #healing #nationaldanceday